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Thursday, 28 November 2013

My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding...

Hallowe'en comes and "German Lara" decides to have a huge house party off Toorak Road.

As my back was sore, I decided I wasn't going to dress up, but soon saw that I had no choice in the matter when I was nominated as the "Bride" in the "Gypsy Wedding" we were going as. OK then!

So Em went to a cheap shop and bought some "dresses", I got the fake tan, tattoos and some tack necklaces etc and we were ready. Heading to Una's after a day at the beach; Rainman, Suzie, Panda, Em and Una were the bridesmaids and I was the bride.

Suzie had previously decided that she was in no way wearing fake tan, until she decided that it actually looked good and went out and bought 4 different bottles of it the few days after! God that made me laugh!

So, we plastered ourselves in as much fake tan as possible, blue eye-shadow, tiaras, tutus (cos my dress was too short for me to go out in public - even for a Gypsy!), rings and heels and we were ready.

Em stole the show with her "beautifully tanned" face, and Suzie cheated, cos she just looked pretty! :) Cue some rough facial expressions and we were perfect!

Una had clearly done this before and had the accent down pat; although I'm not sure if the other girls could understand her!

The drink was flowing (although not for me as I was on my hard-core back drugs) and the messiness started. It comes with the territory when you go out with us! Drinks were spilt, dresses ripped, boys hit, fights started, Beer Pong played (which probably accounts for all the previous actions) and shots drank.

Lara had the house decorated with a projector playing scary films outside, music blaring, fake cobweb and spiders over the kitchen and bathroom - so I stayed in the sitting room for the whole night - and everyone had made the effort and were dressed up. Well played people!

About 1am we break up and head to Revellers Bar on Chapel St til 4am with Jo, Jamie, Em and Suzie. Em and Suzie come back from the dance-floor to stay near me, as otherwise their outfits made them look like tramps! I get some seriously weird looks, but after a while I had people high-fiving me, congratulating me, and asking me when The Big Day was! There was no point in trying to explain, so I just went along with it and said "tomorrow" or "next weekend" or whatever came into my head. One of my mates turned up and he was soon getting the "congrats" to him for being the "lucky fella"!! I had to laugh at their stupidity, thinking that a) a Hen would come out on her Hen Night with her husband-to-be and b) that she would be there with no friends/girls (as Em and Suzie had bailed at this stage)! Gotta love drunk people! Was funny though, so I just went along with it!

It took 2 weeks for the "wash-off" tan to come off. Clearly I had misread the label...which then meant that the lot of us had to wear trousers and long sleeves for a fortnight! The price you have to pay for "beauty"... I'm only sorry that it wasn't the fake tan that Em had used on her face. How the Head of Geography for Melbourne Uni would have explained that, I would have paid to hear!

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